January 19, 2010

7 Myths of Single Life

Written By Cary Schmidt

Myths abound in today’s culture—through urban legends, chain emails, speed-diets, and beyond! Thanks to snopes.com, it’s pretty easy to run an email, a story, or a bizarre event through a quick research test to find out if it’s true or not.

So—do you have a “snopes” for life? Has it occurred to you that life also has its myths and “urban legends.” The issue is, these myths have much greater consequences. And much like “snopes” we need to take the philosophies, assumptions, and teachings of our pop-culture and run them through the truth test—the Bible.

Here are seven popular myths of single-life—seven lies that many singles buy into. Let’s run them through the truth test and unmask them as frauds:

1. Happiness and love is found in a person, and I must find that person. Many people fall for this lie. Their lives become an endless search for the right person who will completely bring happiness to life. The problem is—no human being can fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts. That is reserved for God alone, through Jesus Christ. Psalm 16:11 teaches, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy;”

2. Freedom is about making decisions alone and doing my own thing—”I gotta be me…” This is a gross distortion of a biblical truth. Yes, God created you as an individual with many unique qualities—so in that sense, you do have to be you. But, God never intended for you to live independent of Him or outside of His purpose or structure for life. The greatest life is found when you are who God truly made you to be. In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

3. There is a shortcut to success and fulfillment in life, and I will find it.Many believe there are quick ways to happiness and fulfillment in life, and so they fall for them—parties, illicit sex, drinking, drugs, etc. We all tend to want the path of least resistance and the quickest path to success. In truth, the best life is built patiently, one decision at a time, on the strong foundation of biblical values and principles. This takes years—not weeks or months.

God taught in Joshua 1:8 that true success is a product of biblical principles in practice: “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”

4. Responsibility and purpose in life can be indefinitely postponed. In the short term, a life free of responsibility and commitment seems like the way to go—but in the long term, it’s disastrous. We were designed by our Creator to have purpose, to embrace commitments, and to shoulder responsibilities that honor Him. God teaches that life comes with built-in accountability and responsibility. Those who embrace this, always win. Romans 14:12, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”

5. Love is a mystical, magical, fleeting thing that has something to do with sex. God is love, and God created sex, so who could possibly instruct us in this matter better than Him. Quite simply, true love is a choice, not an emotion. You do it, you don’t feel it. Warm and fuzzy emotions, as enjoyable as they are, are not and never will be love. And sex is only an expression of love when it’s done God’s way—within a committed marriage for life. Outside of that boundary, sex is harmful in every way to both parties. It does irreparable spiritual harm.

Here’s how God says it: 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

6. As long as I’m not hurting anyone else, what I do doesn’t matter. This sounds great and becomes an easy excuse for someone who purely lives for self. The problem is, it’s simply not true. No man is an island. We all influence somebody. We all have people in our future whom we will one day influence. And every decision you make today has countless repercussions in people’s lives for years to come—like your kids! Think of it this way—have you become the bearer of the bad decisions of others? Probably so. And at the time, they too were thinking their decisions wouldn’t hurt anyone. But you know differently.

God commands us to live as examples to others, positively influencing them for right. 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

7. Pleasure, possessions, and personal pursuits can ultimately fill the longing of my heart. God created pleasure. God gives us possessions. And God calls us to purposeful pursuits. But He is the source and the giver. When we forsake following God and pursue these other things, life begins to fall apart. Apart from God, more stuff merely means more problems! We’re called to worship God and use things. But so often we get it backwards. We worship thingsand use God.

1 Timothy 6:17, “Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;”

Are you falling for some of these myths? Begin today aligning your life with God’s principles—beginning with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You can read more about starting that relationship by clicking here.

Build your life and future upon truth, not upon the myth and urban legends of popular philosophy. Opinions of men will fail, but God’s Word is always true!