There’s no debating that we live in a generation of sexual and moral confusion. This confusion is hitting our kids at earlier ages than ever! It seems that the center of Satan’s target for our young people is their sexual purity and identity. If he can cause them to lose their way sexually, then he can misdirect and devastate their lives for decades to come—in many cases preventing them from EVER experiencing God’s original plan for love and fulfillment.
Our only defense against this cultural trend is biblical truth. If we can preempt the assault with truth, then our kids can stand on truth in a world of deception. We can effectively prepare them to see through the lies.
Here’s a list of factors —”why even Christian kids lose their way sexually.” I share them, in hopes that considering these things will make us more effective in fighting the battle for them and with them.
Eleven contributors to sexual confusion in young lives:
1. Naturally occurring physical desires—hormones happen at this age. It’s a physiological reality. Intrinsically, these are good, God-created desires. Satan desires to corrupt and defile them early.
2. Naturally occurring curiosities—with the desires comes questions, especially in a loud world where Christian parents are very quiet. Curiosity is natural and unavoidable—don’t run from it, engage with it.
3. Sexually obsessed world—all day, every day the world is screaming at the top of its lungs. It is shouting lies and bad information, and over time those overwhelming voices become believable, if only because of their magnitude, volume, and pervasive presence.
4. Parental neglect and disconnect—Silent. That’s the single word that best describes most Christian parents in terms of their mentoring of their children regarding sexual matters. Parents are silent and everybody else is too happy to speak into the silence.
5. Cultural misinformation—Again, lies. The world lies. Hollywood lies. And by the time one figures out the lies, there’s usually a whole lot of damage already done and a lot of regrets already stockpiled.
6. Moral and sexual confusion—The loudness of the lies and the absence of biblical contrast (truth) creates confusion. As long as we don’t know TRUTH we cannot recognize LIES. Therefore as LIES hold us hostage, TRUTH makes us free. Our kids need truth, from those God created to give it to them—parents.
7. Temptation and opportunity—This generation has greater opportunity for sexual destruction than ever. Combine that with confusion, silent parents, a changing hormonal system, and a defiled world—and you have an extremely volatile situation and vulnerable young people.
8. Discovery and disappointment—Temptation without intervention usually leads to sin and failure, which leads to hurt and disappointment. This hurt then becomes the platform for a long future of sexual searching, experimentation, wounded-ness, and failure. It’s a perpetual downward spiral. The unending search for fulfillment only leads to greater pain.
9. Lack of training and nurturing—Young people don’t simply need a quick talk when they are 12. They need mentoring. They need someone who will walk with them, pray with them, talk openly with them, and help them fight the battle daily, weekly, monthly—all the way into adulthood. They need an open door to parents who will give biblical answers to honest questions, any time.
10. Abuse and desertion—An overwhelming number of kids have either been abused as kids or simply deserted by the one who was supposed to protect, guide, teach, and direct. Both are abusive, and both leave the young person to “fend for themselves” in a vicious environment.
11. Repentance and recovery—When our kids do fail, they have often been led to believe that their life with God is over. They haven’t been biblically prepared to respond with true repentance and to understand grace. They experience rejection rather than reconciliation. They see failure as final because they are often ostracized by those who should help them. They experience excommunication rather than grace.
When it comes to sex, no parent can avoid the topic—it’s coming at you whether you want it to or not—sooner or later. My point is, you can either be preemptive or reactive. Avoidance is not an option. If you don’t deal preemptively and biblically with the topic of sex, you WILL deal with it reactively and perhaps regretfully.
Choose courage. Choose to be preemptive, not reactive. Be more afraid of not dealing with this topic than you are of dealing with it. God will honor your courage, and help your kids find and experience His best!
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
(For more on this topic, check out: Passionate Parenting—Enjoying the Journey of Parenting Teens.)