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Stuff Christians Need to Stop Doing

This is a bit out of left field—but that’s where my brain has been spending a lot of time lately, so here goes.

Over the past few months, I’ve been making a short list of really bad habits—not like nail-biting or over-eating. These are more elusive bad habits—and a lot more dangerous. They are the things that tend to creep in—emphasis on CREEP—when life takes a turn we didn’t approve of. These are attitudes or behaviors we tend to default into when expectations go unmet, or dreams are left unfulfilled—when our hopes are smashed on the rocks of disappointment.

Life is filled with reminders that we really aren’t in control. And when those reminders come—like a bucket of cold water—they can startle us into a carnal cycle of thinking. They can lead us into a downward spiral of emotional and spiritual distress. They can bring out the most fleshly of thought patterns.

If you haven’t already had this experience in the new year, you will soon. It may be something as small as a bad hair day or as large as a major life crisis—but guaranteed, something in your life, very soon, will not go as you expected or planned. Here’s the question.

When that happens—how will you respond?

May I suggest the following course of action. This list has ten things, but here are the first five:

1. Stop complaining, start thanking—just take a look at the book of Exodus and examine the word “murmur” in its various forms. You will discover that God takes complaining very seriously. And in contrast, He commands us repeatedly in His Word to give thanks unto Him—in all things and for all things. So, when things go wrong, start right here. Don’t complain. Don’t murmur. It’s a waste of emotional energy. Murmuring is against God—it is a formal complaint against His sovereignty. Refuse to do it. Instead, take the high road and say “Thank you!” It may seem impossible. It may feel awkward. But it is obedient, and it’s the first step to having real joy, even when things aren’t going according to plan.

2. Stop moping, start hoping—murmuring leads to moping. Complaints, whether kept in the heart or uttered on the lips, are like weights draped over the soul. They are heavy and burdensome. They laden the heart with self-pity and false feelings of “I deserve better.” Self-pity is a pathetic trap—don’t go there. Moping robs the heart of the blessing of God’s presence and power in the midst of the trial. It quenches the Spirit. Choosing to mope is the same as choosing to prolong and even worsen the agony of disappointment. Decide that moping is out in the new year. No self-pity. Instead, determine to hope in God, no matter where the road of life may twist or turn.

3. Stop envying, start serving—first we murmur, then we mope, then we resent. We start to look at others and compare. We start to tabulate and calculate. And in our fleshly mind-set, we always come up short. Someone else has it better. Someone else has it easier. It’s a mind game we will never win. Comparison leads to envy and discontentment—a bad spirit festers and feeds on every perceived inequity or injustice. STOP!

Do you see the unraveling of life? Murmuring, moping, envying. Stop the cycle and start serving. Yes! From where you are—disappointment and all, burdens and all—get up, shake the dust off, bandage your wounds, and reach out a helping hand to someone else. Someone has it worse. Someone has more pain. Someone has greater disappointment. Someone has a harder time (times 100) right now! Find them and help them—from the midst of your hardship, do something to bless someone else.

4. Stop criticizing, start uplifting—if you fall into the first three bad habits, the fourth will follow quickly. Once you are well into murmuring, moping, and envying, the next step is criticizing. It won’t be long before you start talking about all the issues you see in everybody else. You will find another miserable heart, a listening ear that commiserates with your lot, and you will start to attack others, like a wounded animal. The things that are eating you will start coming out—out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Out of your pain and self-pity, the only way you’ll feel a bit of relief is to pick others apart and magnify their failures. It’s a pathetic tactic, but a bit like a spiritual narcotic. It makes you feel better temporarily and it can be addicting.

Choose to quit criticizing and start uplifting. Grateful people in the grip of God’s amazing grace always see the best in others and point it out. In the spirit of 1 Corinthians 13, they understand that love bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things.

5. Stop discouraging, start encouraging—A moping, murmuring, envious, backbiting person will ultimately be a discourager. Another word for what I mean is “harsh.” This is when your moping, murmuring spirit begins to spill over into your relationships with harsh tones and sharp words. This is when those you love are hurt by your edginess, stifled by your anger, or wounded by your contempt. Anyone can be a discourager—all it takes is a bit of flesh and an out of control tongue.

Instead, choose to encourage others. Trade harsh for gentle. Trade caustic for caring. Trade insulting for inspiring. Everybody needs encouragement!

I don’t know what’s gone wildly awry in your life, but I do know that these five things won’t help make it right. Think of this—regardless of what’s going on—you have today. You have this moment. You are surrounded by people—each one an opportunity to bless someone else.

Rather than descend into these five behaviors—take a different path. Choose your words like an artist chooses his brush and color. Choose your deeds like a designer chooses his elements. Take every moment and every relationship and turn it into a serving, building, growing, helping opportunity.

Christians really need to give up complaining, moping, envying, criticizing, and discouraging. We’ll take a look at five more things soon. Thanks for stopping by, and be sure to add your thoughts!

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  • Bro. Schmidt, I just went through something this morning that could have easily snowballed me into that person with a little sour attitude and too much tongue. After the initial experience, I took a run to calm down. When I got back, I sat down at my computer. Your blog is my homepage, and this post was the first thing I saw. Read it through, was majorly convicted, talked with my Lord, and will strive to watch my words and actions today. thank you for this post.

  • A very encouraging article, a good reminder on how to start the year right in the Lord. 🙂

  • Bro. Schmidt,

    In my opinion, this is the best article you’ve written. Simple, profound, practical, and so Scriptural. Thanks. I will definitely be hanging on to this one. Who knows . . . it might even work it’s way into a sermon! For now let’s see if I can put it into practice.

    Timothy Benefield

  • Bro. Schmidt,

    These words you have written couldn’t of come at a more perfect time. It was passed along to me and I am and will always be truly thankful for that person/family. I needed to hear it again, that no matter what the issue or matter is at hand, like you have quoted: “1 Corinthians 13, they understand that love bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things.” What kind of world or children of God would we be if we treated everyone the exactly same way they treated us. After reading your article made me remind myself. We are to love more , and through Christ all things are possible. If for some reason we can’t willingly give our best to each other, then I know, that I know, that I KNOW in Christ and through him WE CAN. Praying one for another and Pray with a loving heart and loving words for each other. Thank you for your encouraging words, it surly lifted my spirit. God bless you and all at Lancaster Baptist Church.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Cindy Lanich

  • The past 3 years have been a trial for me. Cancer and 8 surgeries to correct a problem with a messed up surgery, Im not done yet. All this because my family doctor recommended an inexperienced surgeon. Believe it or not this is not been my tuffest problem. It is the little things, that still want to cause me to go the wrong way with my thinking. I agree with you brother, thinking is where the problem sticks me in a rut. The cancer…no….the screwed up doctor…no…the 8 surgeries….no. It is dying to self….not dying physically that is my biggest problem. Brother, I don’t know you….but I agree with ya…my prayers are with you and the family through your battle.

  • so good and so true. I had to pray and repent last night. I was lying in bed unable to sleep because I was letting my thoughts ramble into the negative and things beyond my control: mostly other peoples actions.
    I KNOW God is in control, I KNOW nothing surprises God and He allows everything that does happen. Yet just because I KNOW it does not mean I always act like I know it.
    Thank you for the fantastic reminder using God’s Word as a reference.
    Truly awesome

  • Fantastic post! Thank you for sharing.

  • Excellent article! As I was reading it I was thinking back on the many things that went array this last year and my reaction to them. I believe that these truths are right on for what we need to practice on a daily basis.
    Thank you!

  • Wow – I needed that! What a convicting and uplifting piece Bro. Schmidt. Thankful for the gift the Lord has given you in your ability to touch our hearts and encourage us for His glory.

    Praying for you and your family.

  • Thanks for the ‘slap in the face’ today (you know, like the old Skin Bracer commercial…”thanks, I needed that.”) 🙂
    It was very encouraging!
    God bless you and Dana!

  • Excellent thoughts my friend. Very convicting to some like myself!

  • Good thoughts, Cary.

  • Definitely perfect timing! I’m so glad God is using you in the midst of your trial…yes..100s of times worse than my own. Thanks for being an example!

    • Thanks everyone for the comments and encouragement! My trial is very small compared to so many people that I know! These are things the Lord has been driving home in my heart over the past few months and I’m thankful to hear that the thoughts were useful. I almost didn’t post this…

  • I’m glad you decided to post this. It touched my heart, reminded me that I should think more of Christ and other people than of myself and what I think is going wrong in my life, which, as a teenager, one can be very prone to falling into. Thanks for your dedication, faithfulness and love to your service and living for God 🙂

  • Thank you. It is amazing how God deals with issues right on time. I see myself in the article as well as the struggles many of our teens and families are facing right now. My wife and I were just discussing many of the same points last night – thank you for putting them in much clearer terms. 🙂

  • May I add my thanks, too, Bro Schmidt. It is a battle we all face and often lose. I forwarded your link to our entire church family via our email list and have already heard many comments of how helpful your words were. We continue to pray for you and your family. Keep on the firing line…

  • This was my first time looking at your blog Bro. Schmidt, and it definitely will be added to my favorites from now on. This article encouraged and convicted my heart. Thank you for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and sharing your heart with others. You have no idea how helpful this was this morning.

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  • great thoughts….. thank you! Praying for you!


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