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Just Friends—A New Book with Mike Ray

just-friendsGuarding Your Heart for a Wonderful Someday!

People have asked for years if we would do a book to teenagers and college students about guy/girl relationships. It wasn’t until Pastor Chappell approached me about working on this project with Pastor Mike Ray that I really thought seriously about it. What a privilege to work with a good man like Mike Ray on such a needful topic. Well—this book is half of the outcome!

When we met nearly a year ago to plan the contents of this book, we determined that God’s plan for guy/girl relationships was distinctly different to two very different groups of young people. To those too young or not quite ready for a serious relationship, His message is one of extreme patience, caution, purity, and authority. Yet, many who are in their twenties are seriously looking at developing a healthy relationship leading to marriage. These are two distinctly different relationships, and one book could not adequately address both types.

And so, we decided that two books were in order. This is the first, and it’s applicable for any young adult who isn’t quite ready to head into engagement and marriage.

I just received the first copy of this book off the press, and I am very thankful to have been able to work on it with Pastor Ray. Just Friends is about 234 pages, paperback; and it has three parts. Part One—See the Big Picture—deals with keeping the long-term in view when it comes to having friendships. God is preparing you for a wonderful someday—the right person at the right time! Part Two—Make Big Choices—contains eight big decisions that every young person must make in governing their youthful guy/girl friendships. This section covers topics like purity, family, physical contact, emotional dependency, etc. Part Three—Get the Details Right—contains six chapters filled with practical insight and instruction on how how to handle guy/girl friendships so that they are pleasing to the Lord and honoring to spiritual authority.

This book isn’t about dating, yet it acknowledges that guy/girl attractions are a normal part of the teenage experience and should be handled biblically and wisely. It is about becoming the right person so that you will be prepared for the right person at the right time. The title “Just Friends” comes from that famous phrase that all young people use at one time or another—”we’re just friends!” It’s a serious book, filled with biblical principles and occasional humor.

Every few chapters includes a “Think About It” study guide for personal application. For young adults who desire to truly prepare their hearts and guard their friendships—these principles will encourage and equip. It’s also easily teachable for those in ministry. It’s a book that young adults can enjoy and spiritual authorities can appreciate. Hopefully it will serve to bring young adults and their parents together on these matters. We sincerely hope it will be a great blessing and used by God to strengthen young hearts.

It will be available on March 23 at

Interesting things in this book:

• A Biblical Description of Godly Friendships

• An Expose of Hollywood’s Lies and God’s Truth

• A Study of the Seeds to Sow to Reap a Great Marriage

• 17 Signs of Emotional Dependency

• Principles for How to Manage Strong Emotions

• 14 Dangers of Moral Impurity

• 15 Things that Lead to Moral Failure

• The Double Dead End Road of Physical Contact

• The Differences Between Lust and Love

• Practical Guidelines to Becoming the Right Person

• Advantages of Being “Just Friends”

• Guidelines for Setting a Healthy Pace

• And Much More…

By the way—the second book will be called “More Than Friends” and will deal with developing a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage.

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  • Bro. Schmidt,
    I’m really glad that someone has written a book regarding this subject because it benefits someone like myself. I cant wait to get it!!

  • Bro. Schmidt,
    I can’t wait to read your new book! your books in the past have been an encouragment to my heart and i’m sure this one will be no exception.
    keep them comming!

  • Congratulations on finishing this book!

    There are few things in life so confusing in the heart of a young adult as dating. This book will give some much needed principles for parents and youth pastors to teach their young people as well as some much sought after truth for teenagers and young adults starving for answers to their tough dating questions.

    I look forward to reading it.

  • This post piqued my interest as I counsel college-aged girls full-time and am single myself. Upon reading that you have segmented the book’s premise into two age groups, I thought “eureka!” Very needful-I’m looking forward to reading both books.

  • Bro. Schmidt,
    I can’t wait to get that book. I can already imagine how it will benefit my life. Thank you so much.

  • I recently finished “Just Friends”. I loved it. My friend loaned me her’s because I am struggling with this issue in my life. I want to read it again because it is just for me. Remember, keep it light and keep it right!

  • Just Friends is an amazing book!!!! My dad got it for me, and he read it too. I highly recommend it to any teenager or young adult even if you’re not struggling with “dating” issues. Bro. Schmidt and Bro. Ray totally GET US!! It’s great! Thank you!

  • My husband, myself and our 16 year old daughter have just read this book and have given it to her “just friend”. We are so thankful for this book and for the Lord’s direction in your writing it. We can hardly wait to read ” More Than Friends”. Can you give a hint about when it might be published?

    thank you so much for writing this book! I got it at a very critical time in my life when a relationship was just starting out and we both knew we were going to be more than “just friends” i cant wait for ‘more than friends” to come out!!!

  • This book was a great blessing, It has helped me wait and not look for the right one. But to pray for the one GOD has made for me… I want to get this book in more teens hand!!! I will be talking to my pastor. With some pray, I would like to see this used to help the teens at my church… Thank You and GOD bless!!!!!


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